Saturday, August 10, 2013

Preg talk 1

Me: That guy looks like Christian Bale
He: No way
Me: Yes he does
He: Of course he does not
Me: (slow head turn towards him, one eyebrow raised with a killer evil look) I am pregnant and I will be for a while, this is the time you have to agree with everything I say. so?
He: Hmm, yes he does look like him
Me: like who?
He: Christian Bale
Me: (sitting back relaxed) Good.
and the day goes on peacefully

Husband did a kind gesture. 
Me: you are so sweet. please stay this way. One of us has to be sweet, because I am going to be a bitch for a while
Him: (after an eye roll) a while?
Me: what?!
Him: erm...nothing dear

Me: dude..that was such a poor joke
He: jokes were alwyas like this, you don't like them nowadays because of ur hormonal imbalance
Me: hm, u r learning..

"I dont like masala.. I dont like rice.. I dont like chicken curry..
I dont like a lot of things nowadays.."
(slow head turn towards him with what is now a routine of one raised eyebrow with the evil look)
"You! You count yourselves lucky you are not one of them"

This last one came out so good I am thinking of making a video, and adding the dr.evil finger move at the end.. 

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Sleep...eluding sleep

Its frigging four in the morning and i still cant go to sleep. All my brain can do at this time is look at the coincident rhyming of "frigging four" and laugh!

So Generally, why can't people sleep?

Snowden can't sleep because he does not have a home. This guy surely had to be sleepless. At least I hope so. 20 something countries are said to have turned down his asylum request. The Indian govt tweeted that they don't have a positive response. Imagine that, They tweeted! U won't find this funny unless u had Indian government office experience in ur life. If not, well I'm not in a mood to explain, remember? Its frigging four and I cannot sleep, last thing I'm gonna do is explain my joke.

I just googled sleepless and I learn that 20% of Americans aren't asleep, I sure hope so, it's broad daylight over there now, if there is only 20% that are not asleep and rest sleeping, then God save America.

Oh and there is another search result, 2% ppl have super powers, so that's why they dont sleep. Hmm, I wonder what my super power is. I see open windows, Maybe I should test, jump out and try to fly. Bur no cape! im sure super power does not work without thr right accessories.. What is batman without his bat wings, what is super man without his red undies and cape? Just plain normal sleepless people!

Actually I don't give a shitake mushroom why other people cant sleep! Why the hell can't I sleep???