Saturday, August 10, 2013

Preg talk 1

Me: That guy looks like Christian Bale
He: No way
Me: Yes he does
He: Of course he does not
Me: (slow head turn towards him, one eyebrow raised with a killer evil look) I am pregnant and I will be for a while, this is the time you have to agree with everything I say. so?
He: Hmm, yes he does look like him
Me: like who?
He: Christian Bale
Me: (sitting back relaxed) Good.
and the day goes on peacefully

Husband did a kind gesture. 
Me: you are so sweet. please stay this way. One of us has to be sweet, because I am going to be a bitch for a while
Him: (after an eye roll) a while?
Me: what?!
Him: erm...nothing dear

Me: dude..that was such a poor joke
He: jokes were alwyas like this, you don't like them nowadays because of ur hormonal imbalance
Me: hm, u r learning..

"I dont like masala.. I dont like rice.. I dont like chicken curry..
I dont like a lot of things nowadays.."
(slow head turn towards him with what is now a routine of one raised eyebrow with the evil look)
"You! You count yourselves lucky you are not one of them"

This last one came out so good I am thinking of making a video, and adding the dr.evil finger move at the end.. 

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Sleep...eluding sleep

Its frigging four in the morning and i still cant go to sleep. All my brain can do at this time is look at the coincident rhyming of "frigging four" and laugh!

So Generally, why can't people sleep?

Snowden can't sleep because he does not have a home. This guy surely had to be sleepless. At least I hope so. 20 something countries are said to have turned down his asylum request. The Indian govt tweeted that they don't have a positive response. Imagine that, They tweeted! U won't find this funny unless u had Indian government office experience in ur life. If not, well I'm not in a mood to explain, remember? Its frigging four and I cannot sleep, last thing I'm gonna do is explain my joke.

I just googled sleepless and I learn that 20% of Americans aren't asleep, I sure hope so, it's broad daylight over there now, if there is only 20% that are not asleep and rest sleeping, then God save America.

Oh and there is another search result, 2% ppl have super powers, so that's why they dont sleep. Hmm, I wonder what my super power is. I see open windows, Maybe I should test, jump out and try to fly. Bur no cape! im sure super power does not work without thr right accessories.. What is batman without his bat wings, what is super man without his red undies and cape? Just plain normal sleepless people!

Actually I don't give a shitake mushroom why other people cant sleep! Why the hell can't I sleep???

Friday, June 24, 2011

An ode...

I am not new to this game, consider me a novice by no means.

I have done my share, mind you. I have used the likes of you! some much better than you. Deserted them all and never looked back when I had to move on. I never felt any regret, nor did I sense any guilt or remorse. Not even once did I feel compelled to linger, to come back, to surrender, to feel addicted. But with you..

The smile I have when I think of you.. is not exactly new, I admit. but I am surprised that it has not changed even after the novelty has worn off. On the contrary, I feel your need more and more and I do not want to think of those days when I cannot kiss you anymore. In simple words, I need you.

You have changed my habits, my whole day.. in a way, my life.

Addiction is not a good thing, I know. but thats what I have for you - All beans, no chicory, freshly ground.. oh my cup of coffee now that I know you, have you, I dont ever wanna let you go.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Nay..not dead

Alive kicking and married. Thats the current status, and will be, If i dont choke on OR get poisoned by my very own self-cooked curries. But you see, thats not likely to happen. I now have my very own personal lab mouse at home for such experiments. Yes, yes, he is insured. No, his mom does not read my blogs. Soo... 'alive' it is for now

Logistically speaking, yours truly has been moved from Chennai to singapoor. Hold the joy, let it not overwhelm you. I am only 4 hours away by tiger airways! If you are at all interested, what has actually happened to me is, they wiped away all the lively things and then put signboards in all 18 directions and lo its the same city! same weather. not enough dust though.

Anyway, as I was saying, now I eat with chopsticks and believe I had a chinese forefather somewhere in the family tree back in one of the early centuries. He must have had terrible sense of direction (which i inherited) to have landed up in Kerala which of course faces away from China!

And as long as I am in the orient part of the world, no strings of jasmine flowers in my hair (in the miraculous event of atleast 3 strands of my hair growing to a length of more than 5 centimeters), over to orchid strings.

Like the true deserter, I will soon be over-writing all the chennai blogs with wannabe firangi BS. And like the true new bride, i will soon have blogs on my version of pudina chutney and how it saved mankind from world war 3.

Other than that, its business as usual folks! And for dinner we have sambar noodles. and jal jeera. Anyone?

Saturday, October 16, 2010


Yes, the sun rises in Chennai. But on that day, I did wonder how many of us would miss it if it did not turn up one morning... Granted, we will miss the light, but who will miss the beauty?

That was just the start of the day. Seen above is the sunrise among koyambedu traffic. But, it was a different sunset for me that day. It felt nice to be there to witness the beauty away from the blaring horns and the dust and smoke.

Good people, Nagalapuram waits, for those who care to explore, roughly 2 hours north of chennai.
Images en route.

First view
Fruits of labour

Fringe benefits ;) - the fishes give me a free pedicure in crystal clear waters

Closing ceremony
A day of pebble paths, unforgiving rocks, cuts and bruises, photography, nature, like minded company, pure air, pristine water and a shy sunset. I rate it first class! :)

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

The pleasure of nonsense. We are loving it

Temporary brain coma made enjoyable by our Thalaivar.

Rajnikanth starrer Endhiran (the robot) released last friday to unprecedented ticket buy-outs and the usual craziness that is attached to any Rajni release. We all can send zillion jokes about Rajni, but the undeniable truth is that he gives real meaning to the phrase 'larger than life'.

This most expensive project of Indian movie industry had made more than what was spent in its making before it saw the first weekend out. Still going strong, it will probably be the best money maker that tamil/hindi cinema has ever seen.

Getting tickets to watch the spectacle.

Come on brains, lets play dead, it will be fun :D

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

It must be love...

What other sensible explanation is there?

In all my years of living in this city, I have never experienced this kind of weather. the last time we had a real hot day was in the month of May. Ever since then we have not had two weeks in a row without rains or thunder or at least the drizzles and the clouds.

In fact, maximum days, there were just the light showers - the best kind of rain. Of course, there were also many days when it lashed out all the water that the sky could possibly have collected!

Here is the other thing, the confusing days. The day starts bright and then clouds up and then comes the rain, the night brings lightning. And the days that start all drippy and rainy sometimes brings up the sun soon after! Should we carry our raincoats or dab on the sunscreen? Turns out, the raincoat has had the maximum wins.

Whatever happened to hot-hotter-hottest (the most over-used weather phrase when it comes to describing Chennai). What about those good ol sweltering days with no respite from the sun?

What is really happening to my city? Is Chennai in love? Why else will it have so many drizzles and so many mood swings?

Whatever it is, it is a nice feeling :) I do hope this lasts. (notwithstanding the damage this love affair does to our roads)

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

The quest tales

People of Chennai! My dear brethren!
As I stand here in front of you, I have only one thing to ask of you.

I have to make a choice, and I need your help. I cannot do this just by myself, armed with so little. In this dark hour of need, all I ask for is, your advice

Show your generosity to mankind and leave your comments.

Where in Chennai in your opinion, do you find the best biryani?

I have a small list. Buhari. Samco. Coronet. Where else? where else??
I hope you see the urgency of this matter. Please, leave a comment and let me know.

A small army is waiting for adventure. not deprive us of what we deserve. btw, u r welcome to join the quest too.

Monday, August 9, 2010

"At one point in life you either have the thing you want or the reasons why you dont"

T shirt quote in Chennai Times today :)

Friday, July 9, 2010

A date tonight... with Paws

I need to catch a train tonight, but then, that can wait. I have a date with Paws, its going to be a very important evening. I am really excited about it :) I am going to pop the question!

Well, someone has to do it. For obvious reasons, he is not going to. So.. I might as well do it. So here goes..

"Who is taking home the FIFA world cup?"

For that matter why stop with Paws? I am going to have serious conversations with all the dogs, cats, parakeets and possibly any octopuses that I can find on the way to Nandanam. By the way, Paws is the pet cat of the aunty who i am staying with. (What are the chances of having a boy friend named Paws anyway)

Well, if I wanted to know who would win the FIFA world cup, you would think I have to actually watch the match for that. How technologically backward are you!? Dont you know how these matches are decided? O dear ignorant soul, read this-

and this-

Here is the best bit: After FIFA, Nepal wants Paul the octopus to predict its political future. If you were one of those who went to cast the vote on polling day in Nepal, you must be feeling absolutely wasted, now that Paul the octopus is around

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Should I forget this?

I have not been able to get this image out of my head. I have been trying to forget this... but tell me, should I really forget it?

8 maoists had been killed in a police encounter on 16 June in West Bengal, Midnapore. Seen in the image - security personnel carrying the dead body of one rebel. a maoist. a woman. a human being. Did I give you enough key words? were you able to understand what the image is about?

Yes. you have to read the words to believe that its a human dead body that is being taken away by two other human beings.

I thought we are Indians. we treat animals better than that, dont we?

Though only 8 bodies were recovered, the officials suspect more were killed. The maoists are said to have carried away atleast 4 more bodies while fleeing. Yes, they are believed to have carried 4 dead human beings while they were fighting for their own lives.

Maoist rebels hardly ever leave behind their dead comrades, reports a website.

To me, they do not sound like the people who are capable of killing hundreds of civilians. A person carrying away a dead person risking his own life - in my dictionary, is 'sensitive'. What makes these people who have so much respect even for their dead to kill and slaughter other people?

Killing is bad. I have been taught. I am not capable of killing. But then, I have never been pushed off the brink of my existence. How can I even talk about understanding this sect of people. Would I ever turn to be capable of killing if I get oppressed the way this class of people are oppressed? Would you? Do I know the answer to this question? Do you?

Sunday, June 20, 2010

lets start seeing other people

I don’t know how to start. (pause)

In any relationship, when we get to a point when we feel that its not worth it, we should start to move on and that’s what happened with us.

Its really nothing personal, we just grew apart.

There is someone else in my life...

I am sorry.

Uff… thank god I do not have to do this, as newspaper readerships are not exclusive.

When Times of India came to Chennai, I was one of those skeptical maamis holding tight to my copy of the Hindu and whispering ‘No one will ever take your place’.

But 2 years down the line, I have to admit, Times of India won me over. It had me, heart and soul, with its ‘upper crest’, edition 1.

TOI just did what Deccan chronicle never could. Tamilians consider DC a mere tabloid, the other English news papers as non-existent and the Hindu as the bible. When TOI stepped in, it was clear that it does not belong to the ‘non-existent’ class, but more in the DC class. Slowly but surely, I noticed Tamil households switching over to TOI from TH, initially for budget reasons. ‘But its cheap’ and stayed on as TOI subscribers even though ‘but its not cheap anymore!’.

Mine was a total different case. I still look at TOI news as masala coated and stir fried. Started of by placing it in between the Indian express and the Hindu. I lost my heart more recently when I laid my hands on TOI’s Saturday additional paper ‘the upper crest’. Priced at Rs.6, its not the regular news paper, but a treasure trove of articles that touch on global current affairs, moods, issues etc. Its good enough that I am willing to ignore the masala coating and the unreasonable outbursts of the TOI journalists.

Coming back to The Hindu, I still like the news, love the metro plus, still shake my head knowing/lovingly when I see the editor's apology for missing an 'r' in the previous edition page number '..' under news item '...', Still love the language, the prose and I still read it whenever I see it lying around in the office. It really touched me when I saw the declaration that Hindu would plant one tree for every copy of newspaper it prints! Thats something I will respect the Hindu forever for. But.....but I wish, it would move faster with the times. oops, pun un-intended

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Well.. if Shakira says so

Waka waka.. sings Shakira
This time for Africa!

Well, I am not very convinced, but if she says so... I guess its gonna be so..

Its the song, not the game I am talking about.

Friend showed me the official video of waka waka. I have to say, though I liked the song, I am definitely definitely disappointed with the video.

I would think this is THE event, millions and millions of viewership. For the song thats so attached to it, someone could have put in a little more money, get a better location for shooting Shakira than just a grey walled studio throughout the song...In the same front angle. What were the directors thinking? Why wouldnt they get a little more imaginative? At least, a whirl around of the camera please?

I knew something was really missing in the video, only after watching it repeatedly could I put a finger on it. Okay, so you get Shakira to move in front of the camera, alright. But... You have the audacity to make her completely cover her hips!?! That is almost criminal for Pete's sake!
What was her costume designer thinking. Was he/she thinking at all?

Call me picky, but I am not crazy about the way the frames have been mixed either. ( It starts well though)

:) thats enough complaining for the next 2 months! Anyway, its out of the system and me feeling better ;)

Monday, May 31, 2010

One for today, one for tomorrow

Hot sun !
Month of may !!
Chennai !!!
Humidity that could melt u into a pool of boiling sweat !!!!

the only allowance - bright orange and yellow, plump, sweet, juicy..

MANGOS (5!) - the sole reason why summers were ever made!

So off I went to the spencers daily to buy some for the weekend. I didnt wait to look at the snack bar, didnt wait to gawk at the cosmetics shelf. for once, hopped happily to the fruits counter.

The place was not crowded, had just one other customer, about fiftyish person looking thoughtfully at the pomegranates. He also moved to the mango section as I neared it. I bent down examined some fruits and picked one up that looked neither shiny nor matt thinking 'this would do'. Fiftyish hunk straightened his back, looked at my fruit, took it out of my hand and put it back on the counter. did i see him shake his head as well??


I dont want violence. I am all for world peace. But then hey, do not grab the fruit that i picked out!

Anyway, with me being an ahimsak (!) i did not resort to any violence, I just moved a little away from the fruit grabber and threw my best nasty look at him (which went unnoticed). I continued to choose and picked out another one. 'hmm, perfect!'

but then, he grabbed that too from my hand shaking his head! The mere audacity!!

For reasons beyond reasoning, i felt like laughing! Not able to comprehend the actions of a seemingly normal person, i just stopped and stared, not knowing what to do next.

He put back my glossy mango, still looking at the counter in deep thought, picked out 2 ugly but healthy looking fruits and handed them to me, one by one, saying
'idhu innikku'
'idhu naalaiku'

this one for today
this one for tomorrow

I was speechless for a moment.
'wow! how do you know which ones to pick?'
'fruit grower' he said by way of explanation. Man of few words.

I thanked him and smiled at him, but then mr.fruit grower ignored me in totality after he knew that I did not want any more fruits picked out.

I heeded his advice and had one yesterday and one today and must say, they were really perfect. the best ones I have had this summer.

I dont know if the fruit grower was simply a friendly person, or was someone who could not leave his job behind. I would like to think of him as a nice friendly person, whose ways are different, but sincere :)

He made my day. twice actually. once yesterday, once today :)

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

I will change the world

Sleeping unusually on time, getting up pretty early in the morning, going for a walk whose status has been promoted from 'routine' to 'special' (reserved for unusual days like the one in discussion), having a big power breakfast, singing along with the radio on the way to office, reaching on time without jumping a single red light, the spirits are so high, I would change the world today ;)

Take this serious or take it as a pun. Please yourself.

But this much is true - it mostly takes unbelivably simple things to lead a good life (on the condition that you are not responsible for anyone else or no one else is acutely responsible for your daily routine). In such cases, it would take a litle more complicated but still highly do-able things. Once you start well, the ball pretty much takes care of the rolling by itself.

Btw, its only 10 in the morning, i got plenty of time before sun down. You dont know...

Monday, May 3, 2010

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Fortified with fiber

Had been taking the bus for sometime since my partner went low on battery and is being serviced back to health in the TVS service station. And since the bus driver does not trust my road sense, he does not let me sit at the wheel. That leaves me pretty jobless sitting at the passenger seat, with nothing to do other than gawk at people and posters en route to office.

So, this one poster caught my attention. It had the picture of maggi noodles and a caption that went 'The power of fiber'.

Would have suited rubicon mattress more.. still, 'power of fiber'?..perhaps thats a better tagline for the Coir board of India...or..may be plywood??

But no, the copywriter says Maggi noodles (of all things!) has the power of fiber. Come now, fiber is not your average vitamin or mineral!

Pray, somebody enlighten me. What did he mean? did he really mean fiber can give me energy when consumed? what kind of 'power' does fiber have that noodles can use, eventually worth this advertisement?

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Lets go fishing

After living in Chennai city for 7 long years, its only now that I realized one of tthe culinary joys of living on the coast!

Freshly fried fish!! the kind thats sold on the beach from makeshift shops.

The oil used to fry the fish is questionable. you dont know when the fish last saw the sea. you dont know how well (if actually) they cleaned the fish... there are a dozen other reasons why it is risky to try eating it, which is why i had never tried it till now.

Weeks ago when Shonali Muthalaly of the hindu metroplus came out with an article of how the reporters tried the fish from these shops and lived to write about it, I figured, i have lived in this city this long, I might as well take advantage of it. and given my craziness for fish it wasnt a very difficult decision

Now, to gather the task force, I wasnt planning to go eat there all by myself. So I started hunting for 'the right person(s)'. Need not be tall, dark, handsome, but should be brave, adventurous, daring, any gender! The reactions that I got from prospects (my friends)

What the!?



but all things that end well, my search was fruitful. I did find one soul who was willing to try it out! Thank you thank you dear Rosh..sniff.. (happy tears)
this post is dedicated to you! :P

On the appointed D day, we surveyed the whole stretch of shops which were roughly 2 dozen in number before finally settling on the multi-coloured plastic stools and chairs for that ideal fried fish reverie. They displayed masala covered fishes of different castes and creeds. We had chosen a shop that kept their wares covered in transparent plastic sheets. We were asked to choose the fish we wanted. once chosen, it was taken out and slipped into the oil kadai, then served hot with chopped onions and a lemon quarter.

First try: half a tiny fish :)
The next day, I smsed to see if my friend is also ok.

Second try: three pieces of fish. and we agreed it was yummy!

Will I try it again: You bet!

Monday, March 29, 2010

Thursday, February 18, 2010



A client reviews a newly designed poster, made by the designer according to the client's instructions.

Client: Its not quite what it should be.. I feel.. no, I am almost sure there is something missing
Designer: I will try adding better pictures, ones with more colours
Client: Hmm
Client: Um hm, We are getting there, but not there yet. (After a long contemplating pause) Come on Reg, give me your all. We need the perfectly designed poster. Tell me, what are you going to do about this?
Designer: The tagline? I will work on that
Client: Yes, that too..but we need more. It needs to pack more punch. You know what I mean?
Designer: (nods)
Client: There is only one thing I can tell you Reg. Its not perfect yet. I need perfection. got that?
Designer: hm (uncertainly) which part of the poster you want changed?
Client: Am I to tell you that? Is that not your work? Give me the result, dont ask me for details. Why else am I paying you?
Client: This is your best? I cant believe this.. After four weeks of work, this is what I get??
No No! this cant go on.
----------------------- END OF SCENE 1 ----------------------

He had been searching for a simple pair of jeans. You might think it is easy to get, but no, he just could not find the right one. He tried at all the major stores in the city. The one that came closest to his liking was a Levi's pair, but that still needed alterations which the store offered to do, but he refused. He just did not see any sense in paying Rs.3000 for a pair of jeans that needed alterations! An altered one is never the original one.

After months of searching, he chances upon one hanging in a dingy shop in spencers plaza. He tries it on, and in that instance, he knew, he just knew that it is perfect. He finds it hard to believe that he had to look for months, MONTHS, to find this!

He is furious! He demands an explanation! Why the hell doesnt the other stores just stock up the perfect jeans??

Why you ask? Well, let me explain. He knows, very well that it was THE perfect jeans. So, it should be available everywhere. He doesnt understand why these other stores keep all those other ill fitting jeans. Its quite simple, no rocket science. all they need to do is get rid of all the other stock and keep on the shelves only the prefect jeans! Now isnt that only logical?

------------- END OF SCENE 2. CURTAINS DOWN--------------

The most over rated entity in all walks of life and work. "Perfection"

My salute to all professionals whose work is based on other people's definition of perfection. Rarely will there be a perfect unison of the expected deliverable and the actual output.

Is it really necessary that I agree with you on the exact definition of perfection? You have your own definition, I respect that, but I have mine. and if that fits with yours perfectly, there is a good chance that you are looking back at me from a mirror.